Some families manage to maintain harmony all the time, with just a few squabbles here and there. Others reach a crisis point, when they no longer see a future together. Before contacting divorce lawyers, a lot of people strive to salvage their marriage by going to a counselor.
Can a Counselor Really Save a Family?
In some cases, counseling can put a marriage back on track. In the busy and stressful life we live, couples have less and less spare time to talk openly about their dreams and plans, about what makes them unhappy and what they want from the marriage. If these issues are bottled up for too long, at a certain point they will all come to the surface in a bitter fight.
Thus, a counselor can offer the couple the time and space to be open and honest with each other, while offering their input from time to time. And even if they cannot reach an agreement to save the marriage, counseling can help couple prepare for a polite and friendly separation, that helps them maintain mutual respect and find a solution to raise their children after the divorce.
What Makes a Counselor a Good Fit for Your Family?
Every family is unique in its dynamics and attitudes on life. Therefore, there is no one-size-fits-all therapy plan for all of them. In each situation, a different approach works. For example, some couples respond better to problem-solving therapy. For others, cognitive-behavioral therapy is the best type of counseling.
Although this article is not intended as a complete guide, the following tips will help you identify the right counselor for your family:
- Do Your Research Together
It is important that both you and your spouse are comfortable with the other’s choice. This is why the first step in counseling should be spending time together researching counselors.
Even if you get a referral from a friend or family member, always consult with your spouse, look up couples counseling near me on the internet and decide together if you want to hire them to help with your family problem,
- Have an Initial Conversation over the Phone
You should learn to trust your first impression. And in order to form it, start by having an introductory talk to the counselor over the phone, together with your spouse. After this conversation, share your first impression with your partner.
If any of you feels uncomfortable or maybe not the right vibes from the counselor, you should keep looking. The most important aspect of successful counseling is developing a rapport of trust and openness with the counselor.
- Prepare to Do Some Work
Counseling is not a magic wand that fixes all the problems in your relationship. The counselor identifies the problem and offers tools and advice to help you work on fixing your marriage.
Thus, you must be prepared to take an active part in the counseling and follow the advice given to you. If you do not feel like putting any effort in this, your relationship cannot be saved by counseling.
- Ask for Testimonials
A good counselor can offer some testimonials, despite the patient-doctor confidentiality rule applying to this type of therapy. Even from the basic information you receive, you can easily determine whether the counselor has experience in the kind of issue you experience. For examples, some counselors are specialized in helping families get over grief from losing a child. Others are experienced in dealing with sex problems.